Changing the Narrative

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7

“What are you grateful for today? #changethenarrative”

This little post came up on the screen of my phone as I mindlessly scrolled through stories on Instagram.
It was posted as a question. People answered the question and the owner of the post reposted the answers for her followers to see.

My social media feed had been filled with posts, comments, thoughts, stories about COVID-19.
Reading through the abundance of posts, out of a desire to keep up-to-date, I would feel my chest tightening. It starts with my heart and spreads out to my lungs, my muscles constricting and my stomach tying itself in knots. This is my body’s way of telling me that it’s time to turn all of my socials off and find another focus.
Time to send a friend a message. Cuddle you or your brother. Work out what I need to do next. Binge watch episodes of Australian Survivor for the day that I finally apply. And, no, this is not a drill.

When I stumbled across this gem on Instagram it loosened my tightening chest and I thought to myself, “that’s right, there is still so much beauty in the world”.

The beauty in our lives seems so distant at the moment, so far away, so forgotten about. Every day, every conversation, every decision, every thought is now dictated and seemingly controlled by COVID-19. It’s tiring. No, tiring is an understatement, it’s exhaustingand it’s draining. I can’t escape the thoughts and conversations, no one can.
As we start to self-isolate, the walls seem to be closing in a bit and I’m missing those people who fill my cup, who help me to breathe easy. Looking into our backyard for an unknown amount of time seems overwhelming; there is limited beauty in that yard.

I didn’t think COVID-19 would be anything to worry about when I first heard about it on the news. To me, it was another case of swine flu, SARS. Sure, it was serious but we didn’t need to think about it too much. It was just a bit of media hype that would die down after a month. It was something we joked about when someone coughed or sneezed. But it hasn’t been that way at all.

Alexis, I’m really struggling with this virus.
Let me talk completely openly for a bit.
I’m scared. There is more information released every day. Some schools have closed, the stock market is shit, sports have stopped and we’re being told to stay away from people. Even going to a coffee shop feels like a huge risk.
I’m scared of this thing. I’m scared of the unknown.
I’m scared of going to the shop and it not having what we need to feed you.
I’m shit at gardening and, yet, here I am wishing that we could grow what we need.
I really feel like we’ve gone from living to merely surviving.
I don’t like that we’re encouraged not to have too much physical contact, that we don’t know when we’ll see our nearest and dearest again.
I need our family, my parents and Alex’s, they keep us afloat in ways they don’t even know.
I don’t like that we don’t know when this will end, when we can get back to our lives.
I feel hopeless in the face of changing anything. I feel scared for those we love, those we want to keep safe.
I’m scared for you and Solomon, despite reading the statistics about children.

COVID-19 seems to have no boundaries. It loves to travel and hasn’t limited itself to one country or continent. It does not discriminate against gender, race, sexual preference or disability. It favours no-one, it loves everyone.
It is for this reason that we have been told to distance ourselves from each other to stop the spread.
We need to do it to keep ourselves safe and to keep the most vulnerable of us safe.

I’m scared, though, because it turns out that this virus isn’t just one of the body, it is also one of the heart and mind. We are made for relationships and physical connection and, right now, we’re being told that it’s not safe to connect.
I’m scared for those who struggle with their mental health and who no longer have the same access to connection as they did before. Yes, we have Skype, Facebook, Facetime, etc. But when you’re struggling, nothing beats a hug. Nothing beats sitting down with a friend and talking with no agenda. I’m scared of the loneliness that this will cause and the impacts that this will have for many of us.

I hate loneliness. I don’t mind being alone. It seems the older I get the more comfortable and more at ease I am with being alone. The difference between loneliness and being alone? Loneliness is not by choice, whereas being alone is. A lot of people have been cut-off from their support systems and will only have the dubious connection of social media to get them through this. I worry about how these people will fare. I worry about the rates of depression and how these statistics will rise during this time.

I also worry because it seems as though this virus is bringing out selfishness and greed in people.
Just months ago, we all banded together to fight the effects of the bushfires. We gave what we could to help those who needed it; even people across the world gave what they could. Money, firefighting equipment, food and clothing donations – it flooded in. Other states and other countries sent firefighters to mainland Australia to help. We had no choice, we had to unite, we had to come together.
I was talking to a friend and she made the comment that because the fires didn’t directly impact us, we were able to be generous. When a disaster impacts us directly though, we become selfish in the face of survival.
And now we’ve been told not to get too close to others, meaning that we are no longer able to see the reality of other peoples’ lives.

Whether we realise it or not, we are now seeing life through the lens of COVID-19. It affects our mindset, our thoughts, our decisions.

So I’ll say it again, this is a virus not just of the body, but of the heart and mind.

In the midst of all of this, what do we do?
We change the narrative.

Life hasn’t stopped and there is still a lot of beauty in the world. A lot. The sun and the tide still rise and fall. The birds still sing. We still have normal life things going on. People still love and make love; babies are still born. People are still finding a way to celebrate birthdays, celebrate anniversaries, celebrate life. Maybe we need to be a bit more creative, but we will continue to live our lives. It is more important than ever to focus on the beauty in our lives instead of the ugliness wrought by this virus.

I hope that this experience will cause us to be grateful in ways we haven’t before. Grateful for the ease of life that was and that will be again. Grateful for a handshake or a warm embrace. Grateful for the café filled with people. Grateful to go to the shop and see our shelves fully stocked. Grateful to sit back and enjoy those conversations that have no direction but fill our souls with joy. Grateful for the jobs that we used to complain about. Maybe, our focus will naturally shift towards the good in our lives.

Life is still beautiful, it hasn’t stopped being beautiful, and it will continue to be beautiful.

There is lots of unknown right now. But there is lots that is known.

God. To me, God is, and always will be, my first grounding fact. Everything comes and goes, He does not. He is consistent. I know God isn’t for everyone but, whatever the source of your faith, let it ground you.

I placed a scripture at the top of this letter. It’s been a long time since a bible verse has circulated in my mind the way this one has. It seems so relevant at this time though. Power, love and a sound mind. What a way to find a starting point to change the narrative.
The power to speak peace, to give to others, and love others.
We have the power to not let what is happening control us.
Acting and living in a way which screams peace and love.
That’s what this is all about - spreading love, laughter and kindness.

Love. You are loved, I am loved, we are loved. Love still exists and our hearts beat for those around us. Mine beats for you. Your brother. Our family and friends. Even in the greatest unknown, this is known. This remains true, this is unchanging.

Laughter. It still remains the best medicine. We must not stop seeking out moments of joy and happiness because of the turmoil around us.

Kindness. Kindness still exists, still remains, still wraps itself around us. I say this because there is a lot of survival going on and, when people are in survival mode, they will push others down to keep themselves going.
When I was growing up, I did swimming lessons. We were taught how to safely position ourselves if we ever needed to save a drowning person. Someone who is drowning isn’t thinking of how grateful they are that someone is trying to help them, they just want to live. Thus, their actions can pose a serious risk to their saviour. Those people also exist outside of the water. At the moment, it feels as if these people get more exposure than those who are helping others, those who are doing good. Kindness does exist, just look around. If you can’t find it, then become it.

Alexis, it’s time to change the narrative. We need to focus not just on the illness but on the things that make us feel normal, safe and human. We can sit outside someone’s door and talk to them without physical contact. We can drop off food, flowers and hope onsomeone’s doorstep. We can send messages, make phone calls, Facetime and Skype, and we can change the narrative of our conversation.

We are able to dictate how we deal with this virus and not have it dictate to us.
Just with anything that happens to us and around us, we can allow for it to dictate who we are and what we do, or we can take control of the pen. Control of the narrative.
COVID-19 is not the only thing that is happening in the world at the moment, even though it feels like it. We all have a narrative that started long before we heard of this virus and that narrative still exists. This narrative will continue to exist long after it.
This virus appears in this chapter in all of our lives. This should be something that unites us, giving us common ground, rather than separating us. With what we say, what we do, we can choose the path of our narrative. We can encourage others; we can be a force of good.

This will be the first and last time I write to you solely on this topic.
I will not let COVID-19 continue to dictate our narrative.

Alexis,
Our world is beautiful.
This life is beautiful.
You are beautiful.
We can change the narrative.