Dear Church, let's chat.

Dear Church,

Recently, the Roe v. Wade case was overturned and the constitutional right to abortion in America was renounced. I watched as you collectively celebrated. The rest of society collectively mourned as women’s rights were removed.

Do you realise through your celebration you have told women everywhere—our mothers, sisters and daughters—that their bodies are no more than reproductive systems? You have told women that our bodies belong to those that make the laws. You have told us that we should not have the right to decide what happens to our bodies, that our bodies are worthy of pregnancy but not protection. You have sent the message that even rape shouldn’t result in abortion; that even when we are grossly violated, we should not get any say over what happens to our bodies. Your celebration has sent the message that we can’t be trusted to make our own decisions.

You said, “Abortion is murder.” Your evidence is Psalm 139:13-14, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Let’s unpack this for just a moment.
This verse is written by the Psalmist, not by God. It does not say, “I knit you”, but instead, “you knit me”, which means this is the Psalmist's interpretation of how we are created—not God’s. When you read this verse you often support it by saying, “We are created in God’s image.” (Genesis 1:26-27)
You say that we’re all created in God’s image—unless we sin too badly (for instance, have an abortion).

You can’t have it both ways.

We call God a “he” but this is for our benefit, not because God transcribes to male or female pronouns. God has both masculine and feminine characteristics. We say “he” so we can give him some sort of identity.
There may be more potential for it to be problematic for humans to identify as male or female and it seems more natural for people to identify differently.
You say it should all be about protecting fetuses. You say all pregnancies should come to fruition, but when those babies become adults and do, say or believe something you don’t agree with, suddenly you no longer support them, and criticise and judge them?

And what is Solomon? A blessing and created in God’s image or a product of sin because I had him out of wedlock?
And does that mean, because I had Alexis when I was married, that her life holds more value?
What about if Solomon or Alexis come out as queer, are they still created in God’s image? I believe they are. I believe that God holds many images, more than we can understand or comprehend. His character and qualities are vaster than our human brain can fathom.
You may tell me “the bible says”, but when you say that, I can’t help but think the bible has been so diluted and translated so many times that its original writing and meaning may not be what we are reading or understanding. And let’s not start on the fact that we’re reading it in English - which has a double meaning for everything, is confusing and doesn't make a lot of sense. In the same sentence I say "I love my kids" I also say "I love chocolate".

Can you see my confusion? You value all lives, but not women’s rights to have a say over their bodies? You want pregnancies to come to fullness, but don’t support the women who carry them. You sit back and say abortion is selfish as if it’s black and white, but you clearly don’t understand the complexity of the situation.

Let's talk about my abortion. I was on the verge of suicide when I found out about my pregnancy, I know there was no way I could have looked after a new born or another child, it would have pushed me over the edge. I wouldn't be here today if I had of given birth to a child. The post-natal depression that I had struggled with after giving birth to Alexis had developed into severe depression and anxiety. I had planned out my suicide before finding out that I was pregnant. So, instead, I walked into an abortion clinic—feeling depressed, lost and with very little support—and asked for my pregnancy to be removed.
I believed, from the church’s teaching, that I was committing murder. I believed that because I was committing murder, I should feel it deeply. It was because of this that I chose a medical abortion rather than a surgical one. I felt that I should feel every ounce of pain that it could bring me. Your opinions and what you taught had me believing that I was a sinner, that I was beyond forgiveness.
I took the tablets and went to bed. I sobbed silently as the pain started to kick in, hoping that God could find a way to forgive me. The abortion didn't go according to plan. Six weeks later, I was still bleeding. This meant that I had to go in for surgery anyway. I thought this was God's punishment. I told my mum that I was clotting for my period because I truly believed everyone thought I was a murderer. Back then, I had no respect for my body and no understanding that this was my right—that I should have autonomy over my body.
So what does the bible say about abortion that alludes to me being a murderer?

Nothing. It says nothing.

The word abortion does not appear in any translation of the bible. Not once in those 66 books is abortion mentioned. In the 600+ laws of Moses, none mention abortion. The bible isn't even completely clear on when human life begins. There is “one Mosaic law… clearly stating that miscarriage does not involve the death of a human being. If a woman has a miscarriage as the result of a fight, the man who caused it should be fined. If the woman dies, however, the culprit must be killed.” (FFRF.org) https://ffrf.org/component/k2/item/18514-what-does-the-bible-say-about-abortion

In the old testament, an unborn child is referred to as property, not as a human being. In the new testament, it talks about John jumping in the womb. Genesis, on the other hand, talks about "God breathing life". The Bible has no clear definition on abortion or when life begins, so why do you?

Do you know what the bible is clear on though? It's clear on the importance of love, acceptance, not judging others and not throwing the first stone.
You want people to love God, but the God you talk about isn’t a being that I would want to love. You talk about a God who is judgmental, uncaring and full of hate. God sent his only son to die so that we could know Him—instead of drawing people closer to Him, you’re pushing them away.
In the bible that you hold so dear, did God not cause the Passover? When the Passover took place, every first-born male died if there wasn't the blood of a lamb spread over the door to the home. In your bible, God killed children. And you say, “well, that’s a lesson”. Okay, cool. Let's take every old testament scripture as a lesson, not as a fact. Of course, this means that “for you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb” is also a lesson.

I realise that I’m never going to convince you that abortion is a woman’s right. And you’re never going to convince me that it’s wrong. We're never going to agree on gay rights or any real-world topics. I believe that my understanding of God is so inclusive now that I no longer fit in with the realms and opinions of the church. I have no desire to agree with you.

You should agree with me, however, that women should have a say over their own reproductive choices—just as men do theirs. God created us as equals, so you need to start treating us as such. We deserve to make our own choices over our bodies and medial health. My abortion was my medical right. I was in no position to have a child, my health couldn’t take it. And this is my right to have the treatment and help where I need it. It’s every woman’s right.
Your arguments keep bringing it back to abortion—but the real issue is that bodily autonomy has been ripped out from under women’s feet. If it was truly about abortion, men would be getting vasectomies. Or you would be lobbying so women could freely get their tubes tied whenever they want, at any age, even if they don’t already have children.
If it were truly about abortion, you would have more in place to support single mums, people in abusive relationships, the homeless and the poor. If it were truly about abortion, you would be doing more to support children once they come into existence, you would ensure that women who have babies have all the help they need.
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Lobbying against abortion doesn't cost you anything, you don't have to do anything for it, just disagree.
Pastor Dave Barnhart said “The unborn are a convenient group of people to advocate for. They never make demands of you; they are morally uncomplicated, unlike the incarcerated, addicted, or the chronically poor; they don’t resent your condescension or complain that you are not politically correct; unlike widows, they don’t ask you to question patriarchy; unlike orphans, they don’t need money, education, or childcare; unlike aliens, they don’t bring all that racial, cultural, and religious baggage that you dislike; they allow you to feel good about yourself without any work at creating or maintaining relationships; and when they are born, you can forget about them, because they cease to be unborn. It’s almost as if, by being born, they have died to you. You can love the unborn and advocate for them without substantially challenging your own wealth, power, or privilege, without re-imagining social structures, apologizing, or making reparations to anyone. They are, in short, the perfect people to love if you want to claim you love Jesus but actually dislike people who breathe.
Prisoners? Immigrants? The sick? The poor? Widows? Orphans? All the groups that are specifically mentioned in the Bible? They all get thrown under the bus for the unborn.”

Women who are impacted by this change will no longer have a safe place to have abortions. Abortions are still going to happen and those women’s lives are not going to be put at risk. Do you not value their lives or the lives of those who are marginalized and at risk?

Take a step back and consider your judgment of others, let it sit with you and work on it. Stop placing your beliefs and values above the rights of others. We don’t need your unkind opinions. Let the rest of us live our lives freely without your criticism. Stop judging women for the choices they make and start supporting them. Be the church—the loving people—that God wants you to be. Live your life and let us live our, in peace.
Stop condemning women who take control of their bodies, lives, futures and families.