We’re going on an f-ing bear hunt

Alexis,
I can’t think of a children’s story that I loathe more than We’re Going on a Bear Hunt.
Maybe it’s the repetitive nature of the book, maybe it’s that they’re dumb enough to wake a sleeping bear, maybe it’s that I have read that God-forsaken book more times than I can count! Maybe it’s because they find what they are looking for, realise how dangerous it is and run away from it (which seems like a lesson in itself). Maybe it’s all of the above.

So, imagine my surprise when I’m listening to the podcast Everyone has an Ex and the storyteller said, “I had to go through it. I couldn’t go over or under it. I had to face it.” Of course, at this moment We’re Going on a Bear Hunt starts playing in my head and my PTSD from reading that story is triggered.
While it circled in my head, I kept thinking about what the storyteller said. Is it possible that I had the story wrong the whole time? Is it possible that the story was written to teach the reader that problems need to be faced head-on and can’t be avoided? Is it possible, dear Alexis, that the story isn’t teaching children about wearing the right clothes, but about facing your fears and embracing challenges?

Let’s pretend you’ve never heard the story. A family of five decided they’re going on a bear hunt. I don’t know why; it seems ridiculous. Have they not watched The Revenant or Wild America? Bears are not to be messed with, they are to be left alone to do their thang. So the dad and four children set out on what they deem to be a beautiful day to do something stupid. The first of the many challenges they encounter is some long, wavy grass.

I do not like walking through long grass. In Australia, we are taught from a very young age to avoid long, wavy grass. Although there won’t be a big scary bear in there, there very well could be deadly snakes in that grass. Especially on a beautiful day. A lot of people are indeed believers in ‘getting off the beaten track, walking where no one else has been before, taking a risk. I’m a big believer in this. When I used to run more often, it was always in the bush that I felt most alive, free and at ease. I still avoid long, wavy grass though. Maybe there is something to be said for the path that is obvious though, the trail that someone has marked out. The path that others have created so you could walk safely through it.

Of course, the family navigates it just fine and they make it out of the long, wavy grass… only to find themselves on the bank of a deep, cold river.

Pack up and go home, I say. The grass is one thing, but a deep, cold river with fish and currents and hidden depths? Just. Go. Home. But that darn refrain starts up again; they can’t go under it, they can’t go over it, they have to go through it. In Australia, we’re also cautious of deep, cold rivers—this time because of crocodiles. They seem to be actively placing themselves in dangerous situations. Situations which could and should be avoided.
But no, they must finish what they started. After they survive the snake-infested grass, they make it through the crocodile-infested waters. And, thank God, they’re all safe.

But then they come across the mud. Mud is kind of fun--it brings to mind mud-pies and mud fights--but not the thick, oozy mud the family encounter. If they weren’t tired enough already, they weigh their feet down with mud, which will dry on thick & layer on their shoes. It seems like the type of mud that will slow them right down.

They come across a forest, a big, dark forest. It sounds like the stuff nightmares are made of. They stumble and trip their way through it. They gain cuts, bruises and hurt themselves along the way. I believe a lot can be learnt during the dark times that I think this forest represents. It’s a place where you can easily get lost, especially when you’re on your own. It’s a place where you will fall, you will trip, over and over again.

And that is the very thing about this story that frustrates me—the family are entering this dark and dangerous place on purpose! They are choosing to place themselves in situations where one or all of them could be hurt! And they choose this time and time again! I just don’t understand why.
Right now in life I feel like I’m in a dark forest, not by choice. I would never choose to be in a place where I can’t see what’s ahead of me, a place that I don’t know how to get out of.

I once went for a run at dusk in a bush reserve. Oh It was a run I loved doing that run during the day, it was fun and fast and swung side to side. But, at night, it scared me. It was the same route, but I didn’t have the power of fore-vision. That night, I hadn’t checked the batteries in my head torch and, lo and behold, they were running low. I hated every minute of the run. The steep downhill was no longer elating, it was terrifying.
Yes, take risks. Yes, get that adrenaline pumping, but don’t run into the dark forest by choice. And if you do, make sure your head torch has brand new batteries.

Next, the family find themselves in a snowstorm. I would hate to know how far they’ve travelled. They decide that they’ve come this far, so what the fuck, they continue into that snowstorm! And they’re still calling it a beautiful day…

So, finally, they get to a cave, go into the cave and find something with a wet nose, furry ears, and googly eyes. Yes, they’ve found the bear they’ve come so far to find. Turns out, bears are freaking scary and they then have to run away from it--back through the snowstorm, back through the forest, back through the mud, and river, and grass, back home.

Now, I thought a lot about this, about this bear hunt they embarked on, and every obstacle they faced.

We’re not always going to be prepared for the obstacles we encounter in life. Maybe we’re stuck and can’t move because our feet are weighed down by mud. Maybe we’re about to go into the blizzard and feel so cold on the inside that we’re wondering whether we will ever feel warmth towards others or life again. Maybe we have to walk through long, wavy grass and are at huge risk of falling (or being bitten by a snake). There are just so many situations in life that we can’t prepare ourselves for… falling out with loved ones or friends, work issues, money issues, miscarriages, divorce, self-harm, suicidal thoughts. But that doesn’t mean we have to place ourselves in the middle of it, on purpose.

I don’t think every challenge is character building. There are many times that these situations can end up being detrimental to your physical, mental or emotional health. And when those times arrive, the most powerful thing you can do is say, “Nope! This isn’t for me. I’m turning back.” It’s not always worth risking your life (or wellbeing) just to tell someone you faced a bear.

If you have to face a situation, try to be prepared. Not every situation is avoidable and sometimes--you can’t go over them, you can’t go under them--you have to go through them.
You might wish you could get in a plane and fly over them. Looking out the window, those situations would look so small and insignificant and hold no power over you. Maybe looking down on them from above can help give you a different perspective, but they will still be there and you’ll still need to face them.

Of course, there is no way of digging under them. Trying to avoid them is tiring and draining, and no matter what you do, or how long you dig for when you come back up, they’re still going to be there.

Sometimes, the only way out of a situation is to go through it, to face it head-on. But be prepared, dress accordingly, and take your first aid kit and a fully charged mobile phone in case there is an emergency. Bring extra water and extra food—you’ll need to keep your energy up. Take a stick into the river to measure the depth of the water you’re about to go through – find the shallowest path. When you have to walk through the dark forest, take a torch and some extra batteries. In that snowstorm, put your gloves on and pull your hood down to protect yourself. Go on the adventure, take the risk, fight the battle--but make sure you’re prepared.

As much as I detest this story (maybe a little less now that I’ve unpacked it), there is one thing I like about it… The family went through every obstacle together. They weren’t alone in any situation, and if you look through the pictures in the book, they are always helping each other. No one is left behind. We need other people to help us through the tricky or dark times, and they need us. We’re stronger with others around us--physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. When we’re on our own, we’re more likely to get injured and not make it out in one piece.
So, babe, if you are facing an obstacle that you can’t go over, you can’t go under, and you have to go through, be prepared.

And one last thing - it is a beautiful day! The mess, the mud, the storms & rivers didn’t hinder their view on the day. It was still beautiful.
“Not every day is good, but there’s good in every day”… or something like that.

But sweet Alexis - please don’t ever go looking for bears.