Sharing isn't Caring

I'm not too fond of sharing. I know I'm meant to, but I'm no good at it. I wait until Alexis is in bed before I bring the block of chocolate out of the pantry; you, on the other hand, don’t even know what chocolate is - I’m that selfish! Also, if someone asked to use my car (especially an acquaintance), I would 100% say "no." I also wouldn't share my phone or my favorite pieces of jewelry. It even boils down to the simplicity of a pen; if someone asked to use a pen I was using, I would communicate (politely, of course) that they could have it once I had finished.

When I'm unwilling to share, why would I expect that of you, a child? Already people are teaching you, and you are learning that sharing is a must in life.

When I was working daily with children, there were constant conversations with children encouraging them to wait their turn for a toy. I would encourage them to find something else to play with or convince a child to give up their toy because I decided the child had been playing with it for long enough.

You could say that me sharing my car is very different from you sharing a toy based on the value, use, and importance of a car, but I would argue if that's correct. While in my adult mind, we might see it that way, if we consider a child's mind, the toy they're playing with is of the same importance as my car.
You already have items you don’t want to share; Lightning McQueen, River rabbit, your dummy. How can I expect you, a 2-year-old, to grasp the idea of sharing when I, a 34-year-old, cannot.

Imagine with me; you are playing with a toy, your train set, and you have a friend, let’s call her Zoey.
You, Solomon, are busy in play; you enjoy moving the train along the track you have created and keep adjusting it to suit your play needs. You have been at it for a while, with no signs of slowing down. Zoey, who has been watching you play, wants a turn. Zoey walks over to you and takes the train; you, naturally, start crying. As your Mumma, I’m about to teach you and Zoey some fundamental life lessons
If I let Zoey have a go and say to you, "we need to share," you will learn that sharing doesn't feel good and that sharing means you don’t get to continue in the game and world you were so captivated in. You will learn to stay away from Zoey because Zoey wants to play with your toys. And within this moment, you will decide you don’t like sharing because sharing means giving up something you like as soon as someone else asks for it.
Maybe my focus as an adult shouldn't be sharing. When I talk to you or others about sharing, what I’m trying to teach is empathy, compassion, and generosity.
While sharing demands you to hand over your toy, compassion would encourage Zoey to find a similar toy so you and her could play together.

Generosity would encourage you, Solomon, to take turns with the train with Zoey.
Empathy would teach you that Zoey wants that toy and help you understand (without manipulating your choice) that Zoey is in awe of how you are playing. Empathy would also teach you how it would feel if the situation reversed and you demanded someone’s toy.
Taking the time to talk with you about how your friends are feeling can turn moments of resentment into moments of joy.

Offering you the choice to say "no" to giving up your toy and respecting that boundary is setting you up for future success – it gives you the power to know your voice should be respected and heard, and it teaches you to respect and hear the voices of those around you.

Instead of handing the toy over to the other child, I, as your mum; should be supporting you and your peers in finding the tools to seek out alternative solutions and answers. I am in such a privileged position to scaffold your learning regarding navigating conflict, which isn't an easy skill. You and every child has the right to feel safe, secure, and supported and learn to interact in relation to others with care, empathy, and respect (EYLF LO1 - Children have a strong sense of identity
https://www.acecqa.gov.au/sites/default/files/2018-02/belonging_being_and_becoming_the_early_years_learning_framework_for_australia.pdf ).

Zoey could find a similar alternative toy or find something else to do in this situation. At the same time, you continue and eventually finish your play (even if this takes a long time). Patience is a life skill and you or your peers learning to wait for a toy is a beautiful way to start encouraging this skill while learning how to treat others. So often, I try to keep you happy, but feelings of frustration, sadness, and anger are all normal, and all children need to feel these to learn how to work through them. In these moments, I will always sit with you and help them recognize and acknowledge your emotions.

So, maybe sharing isn't caring; perhaps it's more caring to teach you the lifelong skills of compassion, empathy, respect, care, patience, and conflict resolution.